aftereffects of 6 months of ayahuasca

[Thelema]

hi all,

after taking ayahuasca weekly for 6 months, there are some effects that I must relate to the community.

First of all, I feel more balanced and centred than I ever have in my life. Unflappable.

I feel more social, less afraid in social circumstances than before, it has effectively cured my social phobias.

I also feel drained in some aspects, but let me continue, as I do not know whether these aspects are good or bad:

1)my testicles have felt lifeless for 6 months. At the start of last year I used to masturbate daily and get frequent urges throughout the day, and used to ogle and think a lot about perverse sex, getting me hard. Nowdays, none of that happens. Im lucky if I build myself up to one masturbation a week, and then its pretty half-assed. I have not had sex with my partner since my ayahuasca binge, which was 6 months long. My testicles feel lifeless and unresponsive.

2)I feel uncreative, no new thoughts come to me, I could do ajob as a factory hand and not show any guile. The frustrating wonder has left me, and now I seem to be less philosophical.

But I am also at more ease. More content. Maybe my frontal cortex has been juicily fried.

[woof woof woof]

Hi Thel,

Juicily fried cortex?

Nahhh, prolly more like redirected you energy to less used parts of your brain.

MAybe from now on use Aya less frequently. Allow the creativity and the animal to come back a little. Never good to supress the animal entirely.

Ayas telling you settle down... heheh

[nabraxas]

sounds to me like you're a little 'burnt out'-not really suprising.

[Chemical Shaman]

I feel certain drugs enable you to vibrate at a higher energy frequency, and certain drugs (while purely recreactional) lower your overall frequency to a point where you can just be having 'dumb fun'. My problem with Ayahuasca and DMT in general is that I find a great difficulty in holding onto that "magic" or hanging onto the experience long enough to integrate it into my daily life. The problem is not the substance itself in these circumstances but rather outside interference. Insight can be torn down relatively easy in a place like Frankston.

Anyways I had an experience not that long ago which happened quite by accident. I was at a friends house and I had brought the DMT pipe along as he had been wanting to try it for many years. I wasn't planning on doing DMT so I had lined up about 3 points of ketamine on the coffee table and was making my way through them. I had finished my last line and I was on the brink of slipping into the khole when he suddenly jumped up and exclaimed "I need to be light" and left the room. As the pipe was quite full of smoke I decided to smoke what was left in the pipe, lighting it again to get all the remainder. Anyways when I put the pipe down something miraculous happened. It wasn't quite K-hole and it wasn't quite DMT world, it's really hard to explain. In a really basic way of speaking, ketamine is a lot like the Matrix movies, in that once you're plugged in your only restriction is your mind. Anything you want is yours, once you are in that particular head space you can create worlds, navigate anywhere you want to go, leap tall buildings in a single bound, fly etc. But with smoked DMT it's more of a "Now sit the fuck down and listen! coz I got some shit to tell ya here!!" Now I had half expected this kind of DMT head space that I could semi navigate like ketamine but what I got was something completely different. For one thing what I got was all the answers to everything full stop heh. Originally I had thought that the DMT had cancelled out the ketamine because there was no K hole. But after awakening I realised what was going on. I was able to exist in 'DMT world' and the real world simultaneously or switch back and forth at will. Kind of like Neo in the Matrix 3 where he could exist in the matrix without even being plugged in. I was vibrating on a very high energy level and this continued on for many hours. It only stopped when I put about half a gram of MDMA up one nostril, which in my opinion is a really fucken stupid drug, and lowered my overall energy down below the equator. Destroying any insight I had gained.

Lately I have been using LSD and ketamine together a few times a week with some really incredible results. Going to places far beyond the reach of where DMT can take you not just internally but externally aswell where you can physically manipulate real energy and gather it up into balls and project it around the room. In my opinion this is the highest level I have ever been to and I am having a tremendous time exploring this space.

Now as far as sex goes. I find that I am having next to no sex at all. The desires don't come along all to often and im quite happy to masturbate when they do. Keep in mind that I used to masturbate an astonishingly high amount, and now im probably a couple times a week and it's pretty much only ever fuelled by pornography. I also have no end of stunningly beautiful young women at my disposal, quite literally and arranging sex would simply be a matter of making a phonecall. I wouldnt even have to get out of bed or shower, it would be like getting a pizza delivered. But do I really just want to share my divine life force with just anyone? Sex has it's time and it's place and it's not the frivalous thing that most people splash it around as. Consider your new sexual stance a process of evolutiion. How do you really feel about your partner?

My major problem with these sorts of psychedelics is although they offer many permanent solutions and answers, the insight is often far too short lived. That's why im planning an experiment I would like to dive into shortly (maybe after my court case).

For 14 days upon awakening I will do the following:

Drop half a blotter of LSD

Dry Body Brush

Hot Shower

Cold Shower

Drink the juice of one lemon in hot water

Neti Nasal Douche

Approx 1 hour of cardio vascular exercise

There will be no foods consumed for the entire two weeks, I will be fasting with nothing but water and fresh vegetable juices. Aswell as having a Colonic Irrigation every second day. I will also focus a lot on breathing and meditation. No sex or masturbation. No MDMA! No insulflated drugs.

I have a fairly big plan and if it works out well then I plan to possibly take a low dose of LSD every day for up to a month. Keep in mind that I am totally workable on LSD (driving, human interaction etc). I feel I could really geet somewhere with a plan like this.

Maybe you should but your ayahuasca binge on hold for a while and give LSD therapy a try. You may have some serious work to do with DMT then that's another story but if there's nothing that needs your immediate focus then swtich to LSD I reckon.

I don't think that there are any real problems with your testicles that aren't entirely mental. Just that you have come to realise the place of sex in the overall scheme of things maybe? I wouldn't be too concerned, rather unburdened. You'll certainly be able to get a lot more achieved without the primal and imposed instincts clouding things up.

My Advice: get onto a regular routine of colonic irrigations combined with juice fasting for 5-7 days at a time. Use LSD frequently (maybe once or twice a week). Also explore the option of some smarts. I take Hydergiene and piracetam every morning and night.

Fuck creativity for now heh

There are more important things to attend to.

-Chemical Shaman

[nabraxas]

ok-1)any drug that takes away your sexual urge is a waste ov time. pro-CREATION is where it's AT.

--that's not to say it isn't "nice" or "useful"-(if you aint worked some things out :D )

2)taking LSD every day IMHO is a waste ov time. i used to have hundreds ov tabs going thru my hands evey week & lots ov time to experiment--a good trip really depletes the neuro chems so that to get the same effect the next day requires AT LEAST twice as much lsd--if that's possible--remember 500micro grams is the max effect, & most tabs have at least 200.

starving yourself to get some effect from the LSD seems sadistic.

like your description ov the synergy 'tween DMT & K--had a weird time NYEve synergy wise--read my post.

[Guest electro]

whats being described sounds like regular maoi antidepressant side effects. (and the non nasty ones at that)...

If this was daily - 3 times weekly i'm not surprised that you are getting side effects from the maoi in the brew..

[Chemical Shaman]

any drug that takes away your sexual urge is a waste ov time.

Well I think that possibly you aren't looking at it from the right perspective. Maybe it's the 'sexual urges' that are infact a waste of time. Why are the sexual urges there to begin with in the first place? Why is it so important? Why do monks live lifetimes without jerkin it or stickin it in anyone?etc.

taking LSD every day IMHO is a waste ov time. i used to have hundreds ov tabs going thru my hands evey week & lots ov time to experiment--a good trip really depletes the neuro chems so that to get the same effect the next day requires AT LEAST twice as much lsd--

Im not talking about "a good trip" every day. Im talking low dose LSD every day. Hell i'll even bump it up if I have to.

starving yourself to get some effect from the LSD seems sadistic

hahahaha, ok there are just too many things wrong with this sentance. Firstly the juice fasting component has nothing to do with getting effects from LSD, infact I think the point that you are missing is that im not really looking for a whole lot of "effects" from LSD. if i was I would take a full blotter, or two every day. Secondly juice fasting isn't starving yourself. That's just plain ridiculous. Your body doesn't really need food that much anyway, just nutrition. Juice fasting is one of the best things you can do for your health (along with colonic irrigations). Infact when I got back from EB03 I went into detox mode and for 5 days I didn't eat any food (just juice and water) and had regular exercise and colonic irrigations and abstained from drugs. Within a couple days I was feeling fucken CHIPPER and my vision was crisper and sharper then it has ever been, my skin was immaculate, my teeth were white and shiny and my breath and sweat had no unpleasant odours. These are the signs of a healthy body, starving yourself has nothing to do with nothing. Even fasting on water for 5-7 days is great for your health a few times a year. With all these years of drug abuse that I have inflictd upon myself my body is far less toxic then any one person I know.

had a weird time NYEve synergy wise--read my post.

Would love to. Where is it?

CS

[Chemical Shaman]

found it!

[gomaos]

Actually this sounds better:

I've been impotent and unable to get it up for the last 5 years!

Cool!.

No more worries...

[ 14. January 2004, 04:49: Message edited by: gomaos ]

[nabraxas]

CS--i realise that you're not after a full blown trip every day, i was just thinking that even on reduced doses the same problem ov "tolerance" applies. i think(though i don't know, & would be interested to hear your report)that even if you took 1/4 ov a tab a day, you'd have to increase the dose fairly soon, in order to get any benefit.

i wonder if hydergine might be a better alternative?

as to the juice thing, i regularly fast, & consider a juice diet a type ov fast. you're saying it isn't--which i guess is fair enough; but i was thinking ov drug absorbtion on an empty stomach, which i know is what i'd have on a juice diet :D

[nabraxas]

PS--the thing w/christian celebacy is nothing to do w/spirituality. jesus never preached it, & to start off with priests were allowed to take wives---unfortunately that meant they had offspring who could then inherit the land & property that the priest had been given by the church--it was to stop the loss ov property that the church introduced priestly celebacy.

hinduism--tantra

budhism--tantra + dahkinis

toaism--sexual alchemy

to the religeons mostly concerned w/spiritual development, sex has always been a crucial--if often disguised--element in raising awareness.

[Torsten]

thelema - your lack of libido is easily explained. Libido is driven by dopamine. Without dopamine we are totally not interested in sex. Dopamine is the hormone of pleasure and reward and as such it is self perpetuating. ie, if you have sex you will release more dopamine which means you will have more sex which releases more dopamine.....

Serotonin is an antagonist to dopamine. A balance between the two is what makes us happy. An increase of both of these is what makes us ecstatic. However, an increase in just one of them means the other will drop. An increase in serotonin will cause a drop in dopamine.

Ayahuasca over time boost your serotonin levels and response of the serotonin system. This in turn can negatively affect your dopamine levels, especially if aspects of your life are frustrating (ie anti-'pleasure & reward'). Many people who take mushrooms, ayahuasca or LSD on a regular basis feel a drop in libido and also a lack in motivation. Both are caused by this drop in dopamine. At the same time they feel an increase in peace.... it's often a trade off.

This mechanism is what is making ayahuasca so important in our western society (and wherever we export our 'culture' to). In Brazil studies have found a dramatic decrease in violence and crime in areas where the Santo Daime church operates. While some might claim the social influence of the church, it's christian doctrine and the social cohesion as the major factor, research has shown that a reduction in dopamine also causes a reduction in 'risk-taking behaviour' (eg crime and violence).

Nabraxas - most LSD trips around the world weigh in at less than 80mics. In australia the majority tests at less than 50 mics. The 200, 500, 1000 mic trips are myths (well, maybe the occasional 200 one might be encountered).

I often say this, but a simple way to test the potency is to keep taking multiple doses. If your response stops at 2 or 3 then you have a 200mic trip. If your response stops at 10 then you had a 50 mic trip.

CS - taking acid every day achieves nothing. I did it for a months at a quarter of a strong trip (this was equivalent to about 3shrooms) per day to see what would happen. After the third day I could barely perceive I was taking anything. After 10 days there was nothing.

My purpose at the time was to se if LSD could be useful in coping with hot summer days (like coca, or ephedra). I had noticed that on single trips my tolerance to heat would increase and I would get a lot more work done. I was trying to work out if this could be sustained on a daily basis. It couldn't.

I also did the same thing on shrooms (2 per day) and I could feel them right to the last day... albeit diminishing after 3 days.

Interestingly, a pharmacology book I read 15 years ago stated that LSD and amphetamine had cross tolerance, while psilocybin did not have cross tolerance with LSD. While I seriously doubt the validity of this statement, it would noentheless go some way to explain the immediate tolerance build up of LSD, as well as it's heat stamina effect.

[Chemical Shaman]

i wonder if hydergine might be a better alternative?

I already use Hydergine twice a day. I'll make sure and let you know exactly what effects I do get from low dose LSD every day. I might even start with 1/4 blotter and see how I go from there.

as to the juice thing, i regularly fast, & consider a juice diet a type ov fast. you're saying it isn't--

No that's exactly what im saying. Is that it's a fast. Im saying that it's not "starving yourself" which is what you were implying that I was going to do. There's a big difference between "starving yourself" and fasting.

but i was thinking ov drug absorbtion on an empty stomach

In any event LSD gets absorbed through the mouth and not the stomach. So whether or not there is food in the stomach is of no relevance. I had no intention of starving yourself to get some effect from the LSD seems sadistic in the first place because im not looking for any actual effects from the LSD, im not starving myself, and the fasting has nothing to do with the LSD.

CS

[Chemical Shaman]

Hey Torsten!

Thanks a lot for the input. I was really hoping to hear from somebody that has consumed LSD daily. As far as heat goes, there is nothing better for what you want to achieve than FRESH CELERY JUICE. Celery juice is ideal for coping with heat. Drink about a pint of celery juice (with some carrot juice) 2-3 times a day. Not only will you feel great but you will have no problems tolerating heat. If you have a centrifugal juicer then you'll have to consume the celery juice shortly after juicing to retain the nutrients and avoid oxidising, if you have a masticating juicer then you can do all your juicing in the morning and refigerate for up to about 24 hours. If you have a twin gear (trituating) juicer then you can refrigerate your juice in a vacuum flask for up to 3 days and still maintain like 80-90% nutrients.

Honestly give it a try and you'll see!

Anyways I feel hell bad and almost completely responsible for letting Thelema's thread here go completely off track (juicing and LSD and whatever heh) so im gonna shut the fuck up and let this thing get back on topic!!

Sorry Thelema!

CS

[waterdragon]

gomaos:

i have to masturbatre alsmost daily, I'm not proud of it, it's actually quite annoying...

you spank the fucker gom. lol.

[waterdragon]

...and a little more to the point. i think the guts of the issue is that there are many plant essences out there, enough experimentation to fill an interesting lifetime. to isolate a substance and use it exclusively is missing the point i feel. as chem is saying re juices for instance, there is more to plants than just their entheogenic properties. they also do other freaky things like nourish and heal.

[mescalito]

Topic:6 Stubbies in Less than 3 Hours and it's effect after reading this post.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

gomaos:

i have to masturbatre alsmost daily, I'm not proud of it, it's actually quite annoying...

WD you aint seen nothin' man....Gom tell 'em about the web-cam thing,go on big boy! :D

[mescalito]

Back to the point,is it brain chemistry at the crux of the new perceptual field,or a re-arrangement of "priorities" as pertains to the spiritual self(wow..that was fuckin' intellectual!!)

[waterdragon]

intellectual would have remembered the '?'

[mr b.caapi]

the thing that gets me thelema is why on earth did you have to masturbate when you have a partner?

[hoodoo]

I recall a very similar topic at the Ayahuaska Forums three or so years ago. The person who started the post had his blood's testosterone level checked after noticing a loss of libido for months after ingesting Ayahuaska and tests showed it was indeed very low. A few others mentioned a similar loss of libido but most added posts that said they had no such change. I just searched for the old thread but couldn't find it.

Below authors Ramesh Balkesar and Ram Dass are quoted mentioning some interesting after effects of ego loss from spiritual growth.

In "the Ultimate Understanding," Ramesh S. Balsekar, writes "The sudden realization by the ego of its own emptiness leaves only the identification with body-mind mechanism with a name. The new experience of empty ego - 'remnance of a burnt rope,' as described by Ramana Maharshi - is that of a purer affectivity, empty of pride and arrogance, of guilt and shame, of jeolousy and hate.

When the pseudo-reality of the volitional ego gives place to a hitherto unknown Reality, the awareness of that state, unburdened of the subject-object relationship, seems to give rise to a sensorially imperceptible resonance or radiation that cannot be ignored by those who themelves do not have it, when they see it in the sage. The sage himself is no longer concerned with the manner in which the Source makes use of the body-mind mechanism in future duration."

Ram Dass in Journey of Awakening writes about meditation. In a chapter entitled "Loss of Meaning," I think he describes a feeling that people new to meditation get that seems similar to that following Ayahuasca. "Very often people report that meditation has brought emptiness to their life. Everything seems meaningless. It takes great faith to ride through such periods of spiritual transformation." He continues later, that after trying to repeat an experience that at one time earlier in his life gave him so much pleasure no longer did so. One of his favorite things to do was to attend a Boston Symphony at Tanglewood. So years later when he was accomplished at meditation the earlier ecstacy from attending such a concert was gone. "I had realized that my memory of that moment (at the concert) was so high because by comparison to the rest of my life (at that time) was much lower. But now things had changed and each moment of everyday had started to have a quality of newness and radiance and intensity. The driving to the concert, the buying the wine, the lying under the elm were equally as high as the concert. Instead of peaks and valleys, I had a plateau. Each moment starts to have a richness of it's own. Fewer moments are special as more of them become richer. This lessens the rushes, the highs and the lows. As they disappear we sometimes feel a sadness and depression, a sense of having lost the richness and the romance of life. Indeed an awakened being is not romantic, for nothing is special anymore. Every moment is all of it. No romance. Just the coming and going. In a way it is sad to see one's story line turn into empty form. The dark night of the soul is when you have lost the flavor of life but have not yet gained the fullness of divinity. So it is that we must weather that dark time, the period of transformation when what is familiar has been taken away and the new richness is not yet ours."

[ 13. January 2004, 19:32: Message edited by: hoodoo ]

[waterdragon]

Thelema:

I do not know whether these aspects are good or bad:

I used to masturbate daily and get frequent urges throughout the day, and used to ogle and think a lot about perverse sex, getting me hard. Nowdays, none of that happens.

ermmm....oh errr.....BAD?

[gomaos]

you spank the fucker gom. lol.

why the hell did I post about this?

Perhaps, so members with perfect lives,

with perfect wives,

and perfect houses and cars,

and perfect nurseries

can feel good about themselves...

and I can feel more like a piece of shit

[Thelema]

ok masturbation I think is great and healthy, even if you have a partner. I simply dont get how people think sex has anything to do with masturbation. I think they are completely seperate healthy and necessary functions.

Also I dont get the whole "give yourself time to integrate" thing. Maybe because Im so familiar with states of samhadi, and alternative states of consciousness etc, but only thrice in my life have I felt the need to take a step back after an alternative state to integrate, and these were many years ago, usually after states that I really shouldve been hospitalized or dead on. early in the quest, yes, I can understand. People breaking down the barriers of normal suburban thinking are in for quite a shock, I understand. But I have never been such a person, even as a child.

Also, Id like to hear how your experiment goes CS. But LSD is not for me. It simply fails to work. I have the same problem with LSA. Even with up to four tabs, I find that it does not increase my cognitive or spiritual frequency. I think early in my life I learnt all I had to from LSD, and find it a boring expensive and pathetic substance. It has no personality or elemental intelligence.

[nabraxas]

 

quote:

---

In australia the majority tests at less than 50 mics. The 200, 500, 1000 mic trips are myths (well, maybe the occasional 200 one might be encountered).

 

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wow--it's been over 10 years since i had much to do w/LSD, but back in those days i'm 100% the tabs were 200 mics, when we got them.

if a tab was 200mics in holland & then takes 2 months to get to a user in aus, all that time unprotected from temp. & probably imperfectly sealed in cling film--what strength would it be by the time it was used?